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That way if it were ever to end you know you put in all your effort and gave in all you could.
I try to find comfort any where I can but never do. When you had an appointment.
When you needed my support or my opinion. I bypassed all your lies just so we could be together I tried to keep it together but it all fell apart. You could never be happy for me when I was trying to better myself,or when I tried to do the little I could. All of that took its toll on us and tore us apart. I gave you my all my mind my body my soul but most importantly my heart,you never took care of any of them though.
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Bopton because I didnt love you but because all you were ever good at was hurting me. The fact that I knew that you had been unfaithful. You made that whole day about you.
I guess you won me over with your charm and that wantd of yours. When you cried and needed comfort. I put up with all of your crap till my breaking point.
I got married to you just so you would be secure that I was yours but for what to just separate a month later and be left as Mrs. Its sad I have to Botlon to sleep in another mans arms instead of going to sleep in my husbands arms.
You always had time and money for them and I was always last. All the time. That way if it were ever to end you know you put in all your effort and gave in all you could. The days became weeks then monthes then those monthes grew into years and I saw no changes in you,you stayed the same self gratifying person I met that August I told you from the start I wanted this to last eternity.
Its sad how bad you want to be loved but you CANT give someone something you have never possessed. You never took the time to understand me. Its sad I wake up to him and not you.
After all this time I really dont Know how I could have stayed with you for 4 years. I never threw anything in your face. When delila died. I had already pushed you far away from my heart. I ask myself why you?
But where were you? When you were in jail. I tried being the woman u wanted me to be;I tried smoking and drinkin for Boltkn tried to be patient with you I tried not ignoring you,I tried rapping to get through to you,I tried talking to you,I tried every approach possible to get through to you. I never even confronted you about that knowing it was true.
So if you are looking to party without being sexually pushy. You never took the time to talk and then when you finally did want to it was too late. The verbal and physical abuse the accusations the jealousy the manipulation. I gave you my love unconditionally. Where were you when I needed someone to talk to? I held on as long as I could though.
Because I feel that at that moment in both of our lives we were exactly what the other person needed. When you had an asthma attack and had to be rushed to the er room. I ran out of faith,out of patience,out of hope, out of love. I hope they Adu,t you the happiness I never could cause really they were always the ones who you would run and confide Bolotn. Sometimes things just got too bad for me to handle.
I invested so much of my love,time and effort into you.
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